Be Calm…

 “You can’t control people’s actions but you can control how to react to them…”

    “Girllll, how are you so calm?”

    “If I were in your shoes, I would have given her a dirty slap…”

    “Are you sure you’re not angry?”

    “Why didn’t you do/tell him the same thing?”

    “How did you manage to be so chill in that situation?”

My replies are always the same; “…you can’t control people’s actions but you can control how you would react to it…”

Growing up, I came to a realization that I would always remain the calm person in my friend group. I don’t overreact, I never jump into conclusions and I try to reason or understand certain behaviors. When my friends ask me why, I always give them the same answer.

 In every interaction and situation, we are presented with choices about how we respond to the behavior of others. While we may not have control over their actions, we have full control over our own reactions and responses.

This principle highlights the importance of emotional intelligence and self-awareness. When faced with challenging or difficult behavior from others, we have the opportunity to pause, reflect, and choose a response that aligns with our values and goals. Rather than reacting impulsively or emotionally, we can respond thoughtfully and intentionally.

I know, I know. It’s easier said than done and there are actually scenarios people tend to push you over your limits but then if you value your peace of mind, do NOT overreact no matter the situation. Be unpredictable.

One thing I’ve learned is that one of the key aspects of controlling our reactions is recognizing that we have the power to choose our attitude and perspective. Instead of getting caught up in negativity or frustration, we can choose to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to find common ground. This shift in mindset can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and connection.

Effective communication is also essential in controlling our reactions. Instead of reacting defensively or aggressively, we can express our feelings and concerns assertively and respectfully. By staying calm and composed, we can defuse tension and create space for constructive dialogue and problem-solving. A friend of mine once told me that I tend to escape tension filled situations unscathed. I’ve never had an argument with someone that escalated into something bigger that couldn’t be solved.

Moreover, controlling our reactions involves setting healthy boundaries and taking care of our own well-being. This may involve stepping back from toxic relationships or situations, practicing self-care, and seeking support from others when needed. By prioritizing our own mental and emotional health, we empower ourselves to respond to challenging situations from a place of strength and resilience.

Ultimately, “you can’t control people’s actions, but you can control how you react to it” is a reminder that we have agency and power over our own lives. By cultivating self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and effective communication skills, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace, dignity, and integrity, regardless of the behavior of others without being stressed… it’s actually not that deep.